Friendzone. n. An imaginary condition created by a sexist person who feels entitled to sexual contact with another person. Usage: “Rachel won’t have sex with me even though I’ve been such a nice guy to her. She’s got me in the friendzone.”

Friendzone. v. To not want to have sex with someone while that person internalizes this lack of sexual attraction and manifests it as sexism. Usage: “I’m such a good friend to Kelly; I can’t believe that b***h friendzoned me.”

After all the dialogue we’ve had about the Friendzone, it’s no surprise that terrible keywords are still sending people my way.

I recently checked what keywords are coming to this site, and happened upon this particular Google search that brought someone to Lawsonry:

“being in the friendzone is like an employer rejecting your application, then calling you regularly, constantly complaining about the person they hired”

Let’s forget the fact that the idea of the friendzone is a sexist myth; there’s a definition for it above, yes, and one could argue that by providing these aforementioned definitions I am only perpetuating the sexist nature of this term. However, if we all use the standard definitions that I have submitted above as, well, standard, then I think we can help to get rid of this idiocy once and for all.

But let’s talk about what that person searched for for a moment.

So we have this condition of being in the friendzone and this other condition of not getting hired by an employer. The above Google searcher seems to think that these two conditions are tantamount, but in making this wild assumption (or perhaps this is just someone looking up something that s|he heard someone else say), probably doesn’t understand the implications of this statement.

You see, if you are not hired by an employer it’s because you are not qualified for employment. If you are trying to equate not being hired with being friendzoned, then you are basically admitting that, when friendzoned, you are not qualified for the position you are seeking. Ergo, Google search person, when you complain of being friendzoned, you’re actually projecting your own dissatisfaction with your inability to be sexually/psychologically/emotionally attractive to some person you have pedestaled and now feel entitled to touch.

So maybe stop complaining that she friendzoned you, sir, and start reflecting on why you feel entitled to sex with this person in the first place.